{"url":"https://www.thetimes.com/comment/columnists/article/dear-donald-sadly-one-cant-make-this-trip-ktz69rrpd","title":"Dear Donald, sadly one can’t make this trip","domain":"thetimes.com","imageUrl":"https://images.pexels.com/photos/19208963/pexels-photo-19208963.jpeg?auto=compress&cs=tinysrgb&h=650&w=940","category":"Politics","language":"en","slug":"70b76968","id":"70b76968-b951-430d-84cb-115f00b1a867","description":"Giles Coren writes satirical letter from King Charles declining Trump's White House banquet invite.","summary":"## TL;DR\n- **Giles Coren** writes satirical letter from **King Charles** declining **Trump**'s White House banquet invite.\n- **Trump** announced visit **27-30 April** on **Truth Social**; **Charles** cites croquet with **King of Narnia**.\n- Satire mocks **Trump** insults to **UK**, highlighting strained **US-UK** ties.\n\n## The story at a glance\n**Giles Coren** pens a mock letter purporting to be from **King Charles** to **Donald Trump**, politely refusing a state visit and banquet announced by **Trump** on **Truth Social** for **27-30 April**. The piece satirises **Trump**'s recent jabs at **Britain**'s navy, oil policy, and **Prime Minister**. It comes amid reports of frayed transatlantic relations under **Trump**'s presidency.\n\n## Key moments & milestones\n- **Trump** posts on **Truth Social** expecting **Charles** and **Camilla** for **White House** banquet on **28 April**.\n- **Charles**'s fictional reply laments \"almighty diary cock-up\" with prior croquet commitment in **Narnia**.\n- Letter references **Trump**'s claim **Britain** lacks a navy and tells **UK** to \"go get your own oil\".\n- **Coren** breaks character, venting frustration with fountain pen while typing in capitals like **Trump**.\n\n## Signature highlights\n- **Charles** congratulates **Trump** on \"moon rocket thingy\", alludes to **Trump**'s unverified **1974** moon mission and **Mars** plans.\n- Mocks **Trump**'s Vietnam deferment due to \"demmed bone-spurs\" and military \"expertise\".\n- **Melania Trump** praised as \"unfleppable\" with \"rigid face\", like a \"wexwork\".\n- **Camilla** eager to discuss child literacy with **Melania**, warning against online \"ignorance and lies\" leading to voting for \"giant orange lunatics\".\n- Humorous risks: meeting **Epstein** victims, **ICE** shooting, or **Prince** in **Montecito** weed aisle.\n- Closing proposes rescheduling for \"never\".\n\n## Key quotes\n- \"I’m actually committed to a game of croquet with the **King of Narnia** that evening.\"\n- \"How about never? Is never good for you?\" – **Charles R**\n\n## Why it matters\nSatirical columns like this amplify public mockery of **Trump**'s diplomacy, underscoring tensions in **US-UK** \"special relationship\". Readers see **Coren**'s piece as witty pushback against **Trump**'s **UK** insults, relevant amid **Artemis** moon mission and **Iran** conflicts. Watch for **UK** responses to **Trump**'s **NATO** threats and state visit fallout.[[1]](https://www.thetimes.com/comment/columnists/article/dear-donald-sadly-one-cant-make-this-trip-ktz69rrpd)","hashtags":["#ukpolitics","#ustrump","#royalfamily","#satire","#diplomacy","#usuk"],"viewCount":2,"publishedAt":"2026-04-04T17:24:27.674Z"}