{"url":"https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-04-17/ty-article-magazine/.premium/when-i-returned-from-gaza-they-called-me-a-hero-but-i-felt-i-was-a-monster/0000019d-966d-de40-ad9f-966d73860000","title":"IDF Soldiers' Moral Injury from Gaza","domain":"haaretz.com","imageUrl":"https://images.pexels.com/photos/36450020/pexels-photo-36450020.jpeg?auto=compress&cs=tinysrgb&h=650&w=940","pexelsSearchTerm":"Israeli soldiers Gaza","category":"World","language":"en","slug":"9c4c8d5e","id":"9c4c8d5e-3822-4b83-ace6-34ad9f045175","description":"IDF Moral Injury: IDF soldiers describe guilt and shame from killing civilians or witnessing abuses in Gaza, distinct from PTSD.","summary":"## TL;DR\n- **IDF Moral Injury:** IDF soldiers describe guilt and shame from killing civilians or witnessing abuses in Gaza, distinct from PTSD.\n- **Yuval's Killing:** In December 2023, Yuval's unit shot dead an unarmed elderly man and three teenage boys in Khan Yunis.\n- **Societal Silence:** Military and society avoid addressing moral injury, calling it \"injury of identity\" to dodge blame.\n\n## The story at a glance\nIDF soldiers like Yuval, Maya, Yehuda, Ran, and Guy recount personal traumas from Gaza operations, including direct killings, cover-ups, and airstrikes that killed civilians. Experts Prof. Gil Zalsman and Prof. Yossi Levi-Belz explain moral injury as guilt from moral violations, rising since October 7, 2023. The article appears now amid post-war reflection, nearly three years after the Hamas attacks.\n\n## Key points\n- Yuval, 34, fired on unarmed Palestinians identified by drone in Khan Yunis, later hospitalized after feeling like a monster despite hero's welcome.\n- Maya saw soldiers kill four unarmed Palestinians, bury them with a bulldozer, and abuse the survivor by urinating on him.\n- Yehuda witnessed an officer murder an unarmed Palestinian, covered up as a terrorist killing, triggering a breakdown abroad.\n- Snipers reported killing aid-seekers; others saw looting of homes, torture in Unit 504 interrogations, and airstrikes like one on March 18 killing hundreds.\n- Moral injury differs from PTSD: it stems from shame and self-betrayal, needing forgiveness, not just exposure therapy.\n- IDF refuses \"moral injury\" term, uses \"injury of identity\"; quietly developing protocols but classifies cases as PTSD.\n- Cases surged post-October 2023 ceasefire; soldiers fear stigma, with societal silence reinforcing \"hero or traitor\" divide.\n\n## Details and context\nThe article profiles reservists and regulars who served in Gaza after Hamas's October 7 attacks, focusing on incidents like drone misidentifications, revenge killings referencing Be'eri and Nova massacres, and operational methods Haaretz previously reported.\n\nExperts note moral injury hits when soldiers violate their values, often under orders, leading to alienation and breakdowns; U.S. military has treated it for years.\n\nTreatment involves accepting actions and self-forgiveness, unlike PTSD's fear-focused therapy; Defense Ministry does not officially recognize it separately.\n\nSoldiers describe nightmares of faces, obsessive images, smell triggers, and vegetarianism from guilt; some hospitalized, with prior reports of 22 suicides in 2025.\n\n## Key quotes\nYuval: \"They threw a party for me when I was discharged, applauded me and called me a hero. But I felt I was a monster.\"[[1]](https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-04-17/ty-article-magazine/.premium/when-i-returned-from-gaza-they-called-me-a-hero-but-i-felt-i-was-a-monster/0000019d-966d-de40-ad9f-966d73860000)\n\nYehuda: \"This is murder, just murder.\"[[1]](https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-04-17/ty-article-magazine/.premium/when-i-returned-from-gaza-they-called-me-a-hero-but-i-felt-i-was-a-monster/0000019d-966d-de40-ad9f-966d73860000)\n\n## Why it matters\nMoral injury reveals hidden costs of Gaza operations on soldiers' psyches, beyond combat trauma, challenging Israel's \"most moral army\" narrative. It means thousands of veterans face untreated guilt, risking suicides, family strain, and societal rifts for civilians and communities. Watch for IDF policy shifts or formal recognition, though experts predict delays amid ongoing denial.\n\n## FAQ\nQ: What is moral injury according to the experts in the article?\nA: Moral injury arises from acts or witnessing events that violate a soldier's moral code, causing profound guilt and shame. Prof. Yossi Levi-Belz says it shatters the black-and-white worldview, leading to alienation. It differs from PTSD, which is fear-based, and requires self-forgiveness for treatment.[[1]](https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-04-17/ty-article-magazine/.premium/when-i-returned-from-gaza-they-called-me-a-hero-but-i-felt-i-was-a-monster/0000019d-966d-de40-ad9f-966d73860000)\n\nQ: What specific incident did Yuval describe from Khan Yunis?\nA: In December 2023, Yuval's unit killed an unarmed elderly man and three teenage boys near Salah al-Din Road after a drone alert. He fired \"like a madman,\" saw the bodies, and his commander reacted abusively. Yuval later felt deep shame and was hospitalized.[[1]](https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-04-17/ty-article-magazine/.premium/when-i-returned-from-gaza-they-called-me-a-hero-but-i-felt-i-was-a-monster/0000019d-966d-de40-ad9f-966d73860000)\n\nQ: How does the IDF handle moral injury cases?\nA: The IDF does not officially recognize moral injury, classifying it under PTSD and using \"injury of identity\" to avoid blame. It quietly develops protocols but soldiers fear stigma and being labeled traitors. Experts say this silence worsens recovery.[[1]](https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-04-17/ty-article-magazine/.premium/when-i-returned-from-gaza-they-called-me-a-hero-but-i-felt-i-was-a-monster/0000019d-966d-de40-ad9f-966d73860000)\n\nQ: Why do soldiers like Maya and Guy feel guilt?\nA: Maya witnessed killings and prisoner abuse as revenge for October 7; Guy was haunted by Be'eri failures and Al-Shifa horrors, becoming vegetarian. Both question their morality despite following orders. Nightmares and hypersensitivity persist.[[1]](https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-04-17/ty-article-magazine/.premium/when-i-returned-from-gaza-they-called-me-a-hero-but-i-felt-i-was-a-monster/0000019d-966d-de40-ad9f-966d73860000)","hashtags":["#idf","#gaza","#war","#moral","#injury","#ptsd"],"sources":[{"url":"https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-04-17/ty-article-magazine/.premium/when-i-returned-from-gaza-they-called-me-a-hero-but-i-felt-i-was-a-monster/0000019d-966d-de40-ad9f-966d73860000","title":"Original article"}],"viewCount":3,"publishedAt":"2026-04-21T06:38:50.547Z","createdAt":"2026-04-21T06:38:50.547Z","articlePublishedAt":"2026-04-17T07:17:00.000Z"}