Clarkson: Hairy-armpit mob's green claims are all wrong

TL;DR

Jeremy Clarkson slams animal rights activists as stupid after activist Emma Smart threw a restaurant crayfish into the sea, killing it and its mate.
Quinoa farming kills millions of insects and starves birds, making it worse for the environment than eating meat, Clarkson argues.
Activists know nothing about animals or nature and push idiotic green claims.

The story at a glance

Jeremy Clarkson writes a column ripping into "hairy-armpitted" animal rights activists for their ignorance and wrong-headed environmental arguments. He focuses on Emma Smart, a self-proclaimed marine biologist who grabbed a crayfish from a restaurant tank and chucked it into the sea, where it died along with its partner. The piece ran this week after Smart's court case, tying into Clarkson's long-running mockery of vegan and eco-campaigners.

Key points

Emma Smart burst into a harbourside restaurant, snatched what she thought was a lobster (actually a pet crayfish), and threw it into the sea like a cricket ball; it died instantly, and its mate died days later, possibly from loneliness.
Lobsters and crayfish have tiny brains and are "basically a hardened vegetable with claws"; Smart, claiming to be a marine biologist, couldn't tell them apart and ignored that crayfish need fresh water.
Police charged her with criminal damage, not animal cruelty, giving her just a slap on the wrist because she's a leftie.
Quinoa production uses sprays to kill moths, aphids, bugs, beetles, and cutworms, starving billions of insects and birds; one quinoa supper equals "the death of 1,000 doves."
Cows, pigs, and sheep aren't bad for the environment; skipping meat for green reasons is idiotic, so eat steak with lamb and sausage instead.
Clarkson touches on his weight loss from fat jabs causing muscle loss, praises a real mannequin-in-space photo over AI, doubts a government cover-up on an ambassador pick, and jokes about migrant scams.

Details and context

Clarkson paints animal rights types as beach-bum posers who sing kumbaya on tropical sands but know sod all about real wildlife, like lobsters' dim wits or crayfish habitats. He contrasts their quinoa push with meat farming, arguing crop pesticides wipe out far more life indirectly through food chain collapse.[[1]](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/38852820/armpit-animal-rights-mob-wrong-jeremy-clarkson/)[[2]](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/38852820/armpit-animal-rights-mob-wrong-jeremy-clarkson)

The column mixes this takedown with asides: fat jabs left him weak like a Lowry painting, needing gym work; a silk-clad mannequin ballooned to space beat AI fakes for originality; Olly Robbins likely buried a security report on ambassador Peter Mandlespoon to help Starmer; BBC exposed migrants faking gay claims for benefits and cars.

Clarkson wants Starmer battered by scandals so he can't push more socialist policies, showing his Tory-leaning view.

Key quotes

"This story, more than any other, exposes the absolute stupidity of the Zack-loving hairy-armpitted animal rights mob."
"You have quinoa for your supper tonight and you are directly responsible for the death of a thousand doves."
"The idea of not eating an animal for environmental reasons is idiotic."

Why it matters

Clarkson challenges eco-activists' push for plant-based diets as not just wrong but deadly to wildlife, flipping green arguments on meat. Readers weighing veganism for the planet get a blunt counter with specifics on crop harms, while farmers and meat eaters feel backed. Watch if Smart's case or quinoa rows spark more activist clashes or policy pushes on food emissions.