10 Very Weird Things Narcissists Do With Their Mother

TL;DR

Article lists 10 weird behaviors adult narcissists show toward their mothers, even if the moms aren't toxic.
First example: treat her like a servant for cleaning, cooking, and fixing problems without gratitude or respect.
Takeaway: these patterns reveal narcissists' entitlement, lack of empathy, and one-way demands on family.

The story at a glance

Alexander Burgemeester's listicle explores odd ways grown narcissists treat their mothers, stressing not all moms are narcissists themselves. It draws from the author's observations as a psychologist helping those dealing with narcissists. The piece aims to explain family dynamics through specific examples.[[1]](https://medium.com/the-narcissist-detox/10-very-weird-things-narcissists-do-with-their-mother-41bf9b597f5b)[[2]](https://thenarcissisticlife.com/10-very-weird-things-narcissists-do-with-their-mother)

Key points

#1 Treat her like a servant: View mom as a tool for chores, meals, and problem-solving; expect it endlessly as adults, skipping appreciation.
#2 Compete for attention: Interrupt her talks, sulk, or stir drama at family events to steal the spotlight, seeing her as a rival.
#3 Use her as emotional dumping ground: Unload anger and blame without boundaries; she gets no support back, becoming an extension of them.
#4 Show affection only in public: Warm hugs for show, but cold and critical privately; no real listening or care behind doors.
#5 Control her decisions: Question her choices and push opinions, not from concern but to dominate, flipping parent-child roles.
#6 Ignore her needs: Dismiss her illness or feelings as annoying; conversations stay one-sided about themselves, no empathy.
#7 Use her for sympathy: Twist stories to paint mom as the villain, claiming victimhood to others like "My mom used to..."
#8 Pin her up, put her down: Praise one day, criticize the next based on whims; emotional whiplash harms her stability.
#9 Act entitled: Demand money, time, or favors without thanks, as if owed just for being her child.
#10 Blame her for everything: Redirect failures or unhappiness to mom, avoiding self-reflection; childish shield persists lifelong.

Details and context

The intro notes narcissists often come from narcissistic roots but can abuse even non-toxic mothers due to high family emotions.[[1]](https://medium.com/the-narcissist-detox/10-very-weird-things-narcissists-do-with-their-mother-41bf9b597f5b) Each point builds on core traits like entitlement and control, common in narcissism discussions. Examples ground the behaviors in everyday family settings, like events or calls.

These dynamics flip expected roles—kids should respect parents, but narcissists reverse it. The full list stresses repetition: take without give, perform for image only. No formal studies cited; it's observational from client stories.

Article ends noting the tough road ahead for such mothers, highlighting no growth in narcissists.

Key quotes

"It’s so weird to me that just because you have a mother, that you have an automatic cleaner, cook; a person to provide and fix your problems."[[2]](https://thenarcissisticlife.com/10-very-weird-things-narcissists-do-with-their-mother)
"Poor mom never catches a break, and the hardest part of having a narcissistic child is having to know what hard journey lies ahead."[[2]](https://thenarcissisticlife.com/10-very-weird-things-narcissists-do-with-their-mother)

Why it matters

Narcissistic adult children strain family bonds, leaving mothers feeling used and invisible despite lifelong giving. Readers spotting these patterns can set boundaries or seek distance to protect emotional health. Watch if family interactions feel one-sided or dramatic—therapy helps unpack it, though change in narcissists stays unlikely.