Divorced dad shirks housework for decades

Source: washingtonpost.com

TL;DR

The story at a glance

A daughter writes to Carolyn Hax about her parents' divorce after 33 years, triggered by the dad's lifelong avoidance of household chores like cooking and cleaning. The family includes three adult children whose college was fully paid by their hardworking dad, who enabled their mom to stay home. The column, published April 20, 2026, highlights the daughter's current role picking up her dad's chores so her mom isn't seen as abandoning him; full response is paywalled.[[1]](https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2026/04/20/carolyn-hax-divorced-dad-no-housework/)

Key points

Details and context

The column is an advice piece where the reader seeks guidance on supporting her struggling dad after the split. Dad's pattern of shirking housework spans four decades, as implied by the headline, and continued as the reason mom left.[[1]](https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2026/04/20/carolyn-hax-divorced-dad-no-housework/)

Now adult children, the three siblings benefited from dad's provider role, but the letter focuses on the daughter's hands-on post-divorce aid with chores. Carolyn Hax's full advice is not visible due to paywall, though the piece is adapted from an online discussion.[[1]](https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2026/04/20/carolyn-hax-divorced-dad-no-housework/)

No ages for parents or children are given in visible text; dad's specific post-divorce behaviors beyond not coping are limited to needing chore help.

Key quotes

"Dear Carolyn: My mom divorced my dad after 33 years, and he is not coping well. He is a great dad and a good man."[[1]](https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2026/04/20/carolyn-hax-divorced-dad-no-housework/)

"My mom got to be a stay-at-home mom to us three kids thanks to my dad working hard. He made good money and gave us all a great life, including paying for our college educations 100 percent."[[3]](https://muckrack.com/carolyn-hax/articles)

Why it matters

Long-term unequal household labor can end long marriages, even ones with financial stability and good parenting. Adult children like the letter writer may step into traditional roles, handling dad's chores and balancing loyalties. Watch if Carolyn Hax advises setting boundaries or letting dad learn independence, though full column remains paywalled.

FAQ

Q: Why did the mom divorce the dad after 33 years?

A: The divorce followed the dad's refusal to cook or clean throughout the marriage. The letter writer notes this pattern as the reason mom left, while praising dad as provider.[[1]](https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2026/04/20/carolyn-hax-divorced-dad-no-housework/)

Q: How many children do the parents have?

A: They have three kids, now adults whose college was paid in full by dad. Mom was stay-at-home parent to them.[[3]](https://muckrack.com/carolyn-hax/articles)

Q: What is the letter writer doing for dad post-divorce?

A: The letter writer does dad's chores to ensure mom isn't viewed as abandoning him. Dad is described as not coping well alone.[[1]](https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2026/04/20/carolyn-hax-divorced-dad-no-housework/)

Q: What financial role did dad play in the family?

A: Dad worked hard, made good money, provided a great life, and covered 100 percent of the three kids' college educations. This allowed mom to stay home.[[3]](https://muckrack.com/carolyn-hax/articles)

What changed

Omit - no before/after in visible text.